Friday, June 14, 2019

Most places dispense their coffee granitas (just called "ice cafe") pre-made, from something like Slushie machines. At this place, they make it from scratch. When I order an ice cafe, the barista asks me what kind. "Um, large?" I say. "We have many different kinds," he says, and points to a completely cryptic menu. I stare at it, trying to understand much of anything. "We can also do regular," he finally says. "Good," I say, relieved. "Just regular." He goes through the whole ritual: brewing espresso ("Long or short? Weak or strong?") then pouring it, milk, and ice in a blender. After blending, he puts in a to-go cup and asks if I want -- um, something -- in it. I think he means a straw, and I say "Yes." He sprays enough whipped cream in the top that it starts to ooze. He hands it to me, and points to where -- um, some other noun I don't know -- are. I look. Those are the straws. After the whole performance, the ice cafe costs twice as much as I expect. I sit and drink it. I like the cheap ones from the coffee chain better.